my life my journey

for son and daughter

2011-12-05T16:11:00.001-08:00

After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie. She said, "I love you, but I know this other woman loves you too, and she would love to spend some time with you."

The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my MOTHER, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally. That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie.

"What's wrong, are you well?" she asked. My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news.

"I thought that it would be pleasant to spend some time with you," I responded. "Just the two of us."

She thought about it for a moment, and then said...
"I would like that very much."

That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up, I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited in the door with her coat on. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary. She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel's.

"I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed," she said, as she got into the car. "They can't wait to hear about our meeting."

We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Her eyes could only read large print. Half way through the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips.

"It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small," she said.

"Then it's time that you relax and let me return the favor," I responded.

During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation - nothing extraordinary but catching up on recent events of each other's life. We talked so much that we missed the movie.

As we arrived at her house later, she said, "I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you." I agreed.

"How was your dinner date?" asked my wife when I got home.

"Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined," I answered.

A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn't have a chance to do anything for her. Some time later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined. An attached note said: "I paid this bill in advance. I wasn't sure that I could be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two plates - one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant for me. I love you, son."

At that moment I understood the importance of saying, in time, "I LOVE YOU."
And to give our loved ones the time they deserve. Because nothing is more important in life than family... and they shouldn't be put off until "some other time.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Please share this with every daughter and son you know.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

im a loving husband

2011-12-05T16:06:00.001-08:00

Married or not… you should read this.
Marriage.

“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”

—

banat kung banat 106

2011-09-29T05:24:00.001-07:00

Kanina may naghahanap sayo at gusto kang patayin...
Ayaw kitang mapahamak kaya di kita tinuro…
Kaya heto ako ngayon, nag aagaw buhay kasi
binaril niya ako sa puso ng malamang doon kita tinatago.

Kapag nadulas ka sa harap ng crush mo...
Ang the best na palusot:
"see how i fall for you?"

Boy Banat: Marunong ka bang magduplicate ng susi ?
papagawa sana ako sayo ng kopya
para makapasok din ako sa puso mo…
Girl: Wala namang susi ang puso ko eh…
Girl:Palaging BUKAS 'to para sayo.
(Naks! Nakadale din si Boy Banat. hehe)

Ang buhay ko ay parang nakasakay sa seesaw
pag wala ka down ako!

Minsan gusto kong tumakbo...
Malayong-malayo sayo...
Baka sakali..
Makalimutan kita..
Kaya lang sa pagtakbo ko...
Dala ko pa rin ang puso ko...
Na walang ibang laman…
Kundi ang ala-ala mo…

Kung mali man i-text kita, wala silang magagawa.
Kung mali man na mamiss kta, wala pa rin sila magagawa..
Pero kung mali mang mahalin ka, wala silang magagawa,
Ipaglalaban kita, pipilitin kong maging tama…

Kapag umalis ako marami pa akong makikitang iba
pero hindi ibig sabihin nun,
Papayag akang mawala ka..
Bakit?..
kasi nag-iisa ka lang, saan pa ba ako pupunta?
Kung lahat ng hinahanap ko nasa iyo nah..

banat kung banat 105

2011-09-29T05:23:00.003-07:00

Minsan gusto kita tisurin bigla…
Para mahulog ka na sa akin.

If you're willing to chase me...
I promise, I'll run slow…

Boy Banat: Miss, pahiram naman ng pen mo saglit, please.
Girl: Ok.
Boy Banat: Nyak, ayaw naman sumulat miss oh...
Girl: Pwede yan, kakagamit ko lang eh…
Boy Banat: Weh… sige nga sulat mo number mo?

Use "anyhow" in a sentence…
Pacman: Hoy Pidru! Bakit mu kinain
ang "anyhow" na manuk na "anyone" ko kay Jengkeh?!
(oops naligaw ata tong joke na to ah heheh)

PARI NAGMIMISA:
"Sino sa inyo ang may kagalit?"
Taas kamay lahat pwera sa isang matandang babae.
"Si lola lang ang walang kagalit! Ano edad niyo lola?
Lola: 98
"Tingnan niyo si Lola, 98 na, walang kagalit. Bakit wala kayo kagalit lola?
Lola: Patay na ang mga putaena! hhahaha
(Isa pa to hehehe)

Sa may kanto:
LASING: Miss! ang panget mo!
BABAE: Kapal ng mukha mo! ikaw naman lasenggo!
LASING: Hallerrrr? Atleast ako bukas d na lasing,
eh ikaw? bukas panget ka parin!

Boy Banat: Alam mo isa na lang ang kulang sa buhay mo.
Girl: Paano mo naman nasabi yan?
Boy Banat: Simple lang. Hindi pa kasi tayo eh.

Boy Banat: Excuse me. May relo ka ba?
Girl: Oo, bakit, magtatanong ka ba kung anong oras na?
Boy Banat: Hindi, itatanong ko lang kelan mo ko sasagutin.

Marunong ka bang mag-alaga?
Mag-alaga ng kahit ano...
Siguro oo kasi mabait ka nmn...
Ipapa-alaga ko sana itong puso ko!
Alagaan mo naman oh..
Para hindi na ulit masaktan...

What if one day yayain kitang mag check-in
Joy sa Jollibee? lilibre mo ba ako ha?

banat kung banat 104

2011-09-29T05:22:00.000-07:00

Your parents must be Greeks,
Because you’re a Goddess.

Magnanakaw ba ang tatay mo?
Kasi parang ninakaw niya ang lahat ng mga tala sa langit at inilagay sa mga mata mo.

If I were a test
Sasagutin mo ba ako?

Boy Banat: Ale, liligawan ko po ang anak ninyo.
Ale: Wag muna, nag-aaral pa siya.
Boy Banat: Sige po kapag uwian na lang nila!

Sana naging telepono na lang ako.
Para may pag-asang sagutin mo ako.

Marunong ka bang mag-budget?
Napapamahal na kasi ako sa’yo eh.

Boy Banat: Magaling ka ba sa Algebra?
Girl: Huh? Baket?
Boy Banat: Paki substitute mo naman ung “X” ko please…

Kung kasing lakas lang sana ng stethoscope ang tenga mo.
Eh di sana naririnig mo na ikaw lang tinitibok ng puso ko.

Charger ka ba?
’Coz i need you to fill the emptiness in me.

Boy Banat: Akala ko ba malakas instinct ng mga girls.
Girl: Syempre naman, madali kaming makaramdam
kung may nangyayari na.
Boy Banat: Ganun? eh bakit di mo nararamdaman na mahal na kita?

banat kung banat 103 C/o ni bob ong

2011-09-29T04:59:00.001-07:00

Nakabili naba kayo ng Pocket Book ni Bob Ong? Eto Nakuha ko sa Internet Nakakatawa pero totoo

1. “Lahat naman ng tao sumeseryoso pagtinamaan ng pagmamahal. Yun nga lang, hindi lahat matibay para sa temptasyon.”

2. “Gamitin ang puso para alagaan ang taong malapit sayo. Gamitin ang utak para alagaan ang sarili mo..”

3. “Huwag mong bitawan ang bagay na hindi mo kayang makitang hawakan ng iba.”

4. “Huwag mong hawakan kung alam mong bibitawan mo lang.”

5. “Huwag na huwag ka hahawak kapag alam mong may hawak ka na.”

6. “Parang elevator lang yan eh, bakit mo pagsisiksikan ung sarili mo kung walang pwesto para sayo. Eh meron naman hagdan, ayaw mo lang pansinin.”

7. “Kung maghihintay ka nang ng lalandi sayo, walang mangyayari sa buhay mo.. Dapat lumandi ka din.”

8. “Pag may mahal ka at ayaw sayo, hayaan mo. Malay mo sa mga susunod na araw ayaw mo na din sa kanya, naunahan ka lang.”

9. “Hiwalayan na kung di ka na masaya. Walang gamot sa tanga kundi pagkukusa.”

10. “Pag hindi ka mahal ng mahal mo wag ka magreklamo. Kasi may mga tao rin na di mo mahal pero mahal ka. Kaya quits lang.”

11. “Bakit ba ayaw matulog ng mga bata sa tanghali? Alam ba nilang pag natuto silang umibig e hindi na sila makakatulog kahit gusto nila?”

12. “Hindi lungkot o takot ang mahirap sa pag-iisa kundi ang pagtanggap na sa bilyon-bilyong tao sa mundo, wala man lang nakipaglaban upang makasama ka.”

13. “Kung nagmahal ka ng taong di dapat at nasaktan ka, wag mong sisihin ang puso mo. Tumitibok lng yan para mag-supply ng dugo sa katawan mo. Ngayon, kung magaling ka sa anatomy at ang sisisihin mo naman ay ang hypothalamus mo na kumokontrol ng emotions mo, mali ka pa rin! Bakit? Utang na loob! Wag mong isisi sa body organs mo ang mga sama ng loob mo sa buhay! Tandaan mo: magiging masaya ka lang kung matututo kang tanggapin na hindi ang puso, utak, atay o bituka mo ang may kasalanan sa lahat ng nangyari sayo, kundi IKAW mismo!”

14. “nalaman kong hindi final exam ang passing rate ng buhay. hindi ito multiple choice, identification, true or false, enumeration or fill-in-the-blanks na sinasagutan kundi essay na isinusulat araw-araw. Huhusgahan ito hindi base sa kung tama o mali ang sagot, kundi base sa kung may kabuluhan ang mga isinulat o wala. Allowed ang erasures.”

15. “Wag magmadali sa pag-aasawa. Tatlo, lima , sampung taon sa hinaharap, mag-iiba pa ang pamantayan mo at maiisip mong di pala tamang pumili ng kapareha dahil lang sa kaboses niya si Debbie Gibson o magaling mag-breakdance. Totoong mas importante ang kalooban ng tao higit anuman. Sa paglipas ng panahon, maging ang mga crush ng bayan sa eskwelahan e nagmumukha ring pandesal. Maniwala ka.”

16. “Ayokong nasasanay sa mga bagay na pwede namang wala sa buhay ko.”

17. “Hinahanap mo nga ba ako o ang kawalan ko?”

18. “Hindi dahil sa hindi mo naiintindihan ang isang bagay ay kasinungalingan na ito. At hindi lahat ng kaya mong intindihin ay katotohanan. “

19. “Kumain ka na ng siopao na may palamang pusa o maglakad sa bubog nang nakayapak, pero wag na wag kang susubok mag-drugs. Kung hindi mo kayang umiwas, humingi ka ng tulong sa mga magulang mo dahil alam nila kung saan ang mga murang supplier at hindi ka nila iisahan.”

20. “Mag-aral maigi. Kung titigil ka sa pag-aaral, manghihinayang ka pagtanda mo dahil hindi mo naranasan ang kakaibang ligayang dulot ng mga araw na walang pasok o suspendido ang klase o absent ang teacher. (Haaay, sarap!).”

21. “Mangarap ka at abutin mo. Wag mong sisihin ang sira mong pamilya, palpak mong syota, pilay mong tuta, o mga lumilipad na ipis. Kung may pagkukulang sa’yo mga magulang mo, pwde kang manisi at maging rebelde. Tumigil ka sa pag-aaral, mag-asawa ka, mag-drugs ka, magpakulay ka ng buhok sa kili-kili. Sa bandang huli, ikaw din ang biktima. Rebeldeng walang napatunayan at bait sa sarili.”

banat kung banat 103

2011-09-29T04:58:00.003-07:00

Dalawang students ang naiwan sa classroom]
Girl: Bakit ka nakatitig sa nameplate ko?
Boy Banat: Hinihintay ko kasing malipat ang apelyido ko dyan.

Kung pagsasamahin ba ikaw at ako?
Magiging tayo?

Teacher ka ba?
Tinuruan mo kasi akong magmahal.

Boy Banat: Miss naliligaw ako eh, pwede bang pakituro ng daan?
Girl: Saan ba bahay mo?
Boy Banat: Dyan sa puso mo.

Anong height mo?
Kasi nagtataka ako kung bakit nagkasya ka sa puso ko!

Boy Banat: Miss may slot pa ba?
Girl: saan?
Boy Banat: Dyan sa puso mo.

Hindi ka ba hinahanap sa inyo?
Kasi lagi kang nasa puso ko.

oi!! 1 over 100 lang ako kanina sa exam ko dahil sayo!!..
Ikaw lang kasi ang tama sa buhay ko.

Nakalunok ka ba ng kwitis?
Pag ngumiti ka kasi…
May spark!

Kaya mo ba akong MURAHIN?
Kasi kung hindi..
MAHALIN mo na lang ako.

banat kung banat 102

2011-09-29T04:55:00.001-07:00

[Mag asawang nag-aaway:]
Girl: Sawang-sawa na talaga ako, aalis na ako dito,
dadalhin ko na lahat ng sa akin!
Boy Banat: Hoy! May nakalimutan ka!
Girl: Ano?!
Boy Banat: AKO!!

Kawawa ka naman noh?
Kasi mag-isa ka lang..
Mag-isa ka lang sa puso ko.

Tara! Pa-picture tayo,
Para ma-develop tayo.

Hindi ka ba napapagod?
Kanina ka pa kasi tumatakbo sa isip ko.

Geometry ba favorite subject mo?
Kasi kahit anong angle ang cute mo.

Scientist ako,
Ikaw kasi lab ko.

May dala ka bang magnet?
Na a-attract mo kasi ako.

Bakit ba lagi tayong nag-aaway?
Kasi the more you hate, the more you love.

Siguro pokemon ka,
Kasi I choose you.

Meralco ka ba? (part 2)
Pag ngumi-ngiti ka kasi may spark.

banat kung banat 101

2011-09-29T04:54:00.000-07:00

Alam mo parang tumataba ka,
Bumibilog..
At unti-unting…
Nagiging mundo ko.

Patay na ba ako?
Cause I see angel and heaven right before my eyes.

Exam ka ba?
Gusto na kasi kitang i-take home.

Minamalat na naman puso ko,
Paano kasi..
Laging sinisigaw pangalan mo.

Pwede ba kitang maging sidecar?
Single kasi ako eh.

May butas ba yang puso mo?
Na-trap kasi ako, I can’t find my way out.

Bangin ka ba?
Nahulog kasi ako sa ‘yo.

Meralco ka ba?
Kasi you light up my life.

Aanhin pa ang sinabawang gulay?
Kung sa’yo pa lang makulay na ang aking buhay?

Ice ka ba?
Crush kita?
Okay lang?

PLDT ALSO PLANS TO ENGULF PHILIPPINE AIRLINES!

2011-09-21T23:31:00.001-07:00

MANILA, Philippines - Despite denials from both Philippine Long Distance Telephone Co. (PLDT) and Philippine Airlines (PAL), talks persist that the telecom giant may indeed be the “white knight” of the country’s flag carrier.

The latest: The group of Manuel V. Pangilinan is already in “deep talks” and has “agreed in principle” with the top management of PAL to buy the flag carrier, according to a source close to the telecom executive.

The source said Pangilinan, chairman of PLDT, is just waiting for PAL to resolve its conflict with the Philippine Airlines Employees Association (Palea) before taking over.

“Manny [Pangilinan] feels bad whenever he gives only 14th month pay. He believes employees should be financially motivated but that is only possible if he has manageable number [of workers],” the source said. “He strongly favors the move to outsource.”

PAL has decided to outsource a sizable number of its work-force requirement, which may lead to the retrenchment of at least 2,600 employees.

One of the three service providers in PAL’s outsourcing plan is SPi Global, a wholly owned subsidiary of PLDT, which will be handling call-center reservations.

The source said Pangilinan wants the present owners to trim the flag carrier’s work force on its own, rather than come in and implement a downsizing scheme, just like he did when he assumed as PLDT’s chief executive in 1998.

The source, who already made several business deals with Pangilinan, said since PAL’s labor dispute is of public interest, the PLDT chairman is confident that the Court of Appeals would move quickly so that Palea would agree to an amicable settlement.

The Aquino administration, through the Office of the President, has already affirmed and supported the Department of Labor and Employment decision on the legality of PAL’s move to outsource a chunk of its work force.

The Court of Appeals, however, has yet to deny or grant the motion for reconsideration filed by Palea after the appellate court upheld the validity of the outsourcing move of PAL since it falls under the “management’s prerogative.”

Late last week, it was revealed that PLDT and Metro Pacific Investments Corp. have set up a new aviation company, Pacific Global One Aviation Inc., fanning speculations that it will invest in PAL.

PLDT executives have denied the rumors that it will use the company to buy into PAL.

“We are not putting up an airline business like PAL nor are we acquiring PAL. That is so wrong. We are just centralizing the business or, rather, rationalizing the resources we have,” PLDT President Napoleon Nazareno told reporters on Monday.

The source, however, said he is not privy on what entity Pangilinan is using to buy PAL.Pangilinan is also the chairman of Metro Pacific, Philex Mining Corp., Manila Electric Co. and Metro Pacific Tollways Corp.

PAL President Jaime Bautista, for his part, said on Monday he is not aware of any talks involving new investors, including Pangilinan nor his rival Ramon Ang, president and chief operating officer of San Miguel Corp.

But on Tuesday, Bautista admitted to the BusinessMirror that there have been talks in the past “but with a foreign airline.” “For now I know the talks have not been revived,” he said in a text message. “Maybe if we start to implement the outsourcing [plan], talks may be revived.”

Documents filed with the Securities and Exchange Commission, which were approved on September 15, showed that the new PLDT aviation company has an authorized capital stock of P430 million, with common shares worth P400 million and P30 million worth of preferred shares.

The documents stated that the primary purpose of the new company is “to carry on, by means of aircraft of every kind or description, the general business of common and/or private carrier, air taxi or charter engaged in the transportation for itself and for others, of passengers, mail, merchandise and freight, and in this connection, to acquire, purchase, lease, construct, own, maintain, operate and dispose of aircraft of every kind and description, for scheduled and nonscheduled flights, for domestic and foreign travel, and also to own, purchase, construct, lease, operate and dispose of hangars, transportation depots, lounge facilities, aircraft service stations and agencies and other objects and services of similar nature which may be necessary, convenient or useful as an auxiliary to aircraft transportation, including the service and repair of aircraft, ground handling, and buying, selling and generally dealing in oils, gasoline, fuel, aircraft accessories and equipment and goods, wares and relate merchandise of every name and description.”

abs-cbnNews

Martial Law brief history

2011-09-21T21:52:00.000-07:00

Proclamation No. 1081 was the declaration of martial law in the Philippines by President Ferdinand E. Marcos. Once in effect, it covered the entire republic on September 21, 1972. It was announced to the public two days later.Under the pretext of a staged assassination of his former Defense Minister Juan Ponce Enrile (now Senate President) and an ensuing communist insurgency, Marcos ruled by military power through martial law, altered the Constitution in the subsequent year, made himself both Head of State as President and Head of Government as Prime Minister, manipulated elections and the political arena in the Philippines, and had his political party--Kilusang Bagong Lipunan (KBL) (English: New Society Movement) control the unicameral legislative branch of government called the "Batasang Pambansa". All these allowed Marcos to remain in power and to plunder.The proclamation was actually signed on September 17, but was postdated four days later on September 21 because of Marcos' superstitions and numerology beliefs. Marcos formally announced the proclamation two days after at midnight on September 23, 1972 via live national television broadcast.Martial law was lifted by President Marcos on January 17, 1981

korning banat

2011-09-21T05:58:00.000-07:00

Wala akong pakialam kung TAKEN ka na,

Kasi alisin ko lang ang “T”, aken ka na.

Super bass ka ba?

‘Cause you got my heartbeat runnin’ away.

“

BOY: Pag niligawan kita. Sasagutin mo ba ako?
GIRL: Oo naman.
BOY: Ayee! Ehh, Ano isasagot mo? :)

GIRL: AYOKO TT^TT

”

Nakalimutan ko kasi pangalan mo, pwede ba kitang tawaging akin?

Ang lalaki madali mahalin kapag pogi o may kotse. Ang hindi nila alam, mas masarap mahalin ang lalaking walang maipagmamalaki kundi ikaw. XD

Kung ikaw ay may mahal...

Kung ikaw ay may mahal tumawa ka, hahaha!

Kung ikaw ay may mahal, buhay mo sisigla,

Kung ikaw ay may mahal, MAHAL KA BA?!

“Philippines is my nation. Heaven is my destination. Laguna is my Location. But “you” are my inspiration.”

“Maraming tao ang handa kang mahalin at alagaan…

CHOOSY ka lang kaya feeling mo wala!”

#wag maging CHOOSY XD

dalawang istudyante nag uusap sa PE lesson which is SWIMMING.
classmate1: tingin ko pag tumalon ka sa pool lulutang ka
calssmate2: bakit ??? dahil payat ako ???
classmate1: hindi !!! dahil plastic ka!!!

'Pag nabangga ba kita, sasabihin mo bang BULAG ako?

Kahit may pagtingin ako sa’yo?

UNIVERSITY EDITION :DDD

ATENEO: Miss, EAGLE ka ba? Gusto ko sanang lumipad kasama ka.
LA SALLE: Miss, ARCHER ka ba? Di mo pa nga ko pinapana, tinamaan na ako sayo.
NU: Miss, sa N.U ka ba nag-aaral? Gusto ko sana magkasama tayo, just me N. U.
UST: Miss, USTE ka ba? Kasi naman you make my heart ROAR!
UE: Miss, WARRIOR ka ba? Suko na ko sayo. Ikaw na ang panalo sa puso ko.
FEU: Miss, FEU ka ba? Sabi kasi ng puso ko TAMARAW na ibigin kita.
UP: Miss, taga-UP ka ba? ‘Cause i know you are worth FIGHTING for.

Samahan mo naman ako sa cementeryo oh. Sabay lang nating dalawin ang puso kong patay.

PATAY NA PATAY SAYO. :”>

Wag mong gawing INA. Kung wala kang balak gawing ASAWA.

Fact: Walang Babaeng SELOSA, sa Lalakeng TAPAT sa MAHAL NYA.

Ayos lang naman na mahilo ako e.

Basta ba’t sayo lang iikot ang mundo ko. ((:

Kung hindi ka rin lang mapupunta sa akin mas mabuti pang maging sayo nalang ako.”

Sana isang araw magkasabay tayo sa isang pila. Para 'pag may sumigaw ng, "Next!" at hindi mo narinig. Ikaw na mismo ang magtatanong sa'kin, "Tayo na ba?"

Hanggang ngayon ba hinahanap mo pa rin kung sino ang taong magmamahal sayo? * wag kang magalala ON THE WAY na ako! :]

Hindi mo naman masasabing TANGA ka, siguro matiyaga ka lang sa taong mahal mo ng sobra.

Ang salitang TAPOS ay nagtatapos sa S, ibig sabihin SIMULA. dahil ang bawat katapusan ay nangangahulugan ng bagong panimula.

korning banat 2

2011-09-21T05:35:00.003-07:00

* I am an ASSIGNMENT.
Wanna take me HOME?!

* Why love a person who just makes you breakfast?
When you can love me and be your breakfast!

* Pimple ka ba?!
Kasi kapag pinipilit kitang tanggalin,
nasasaktan ako...

* Girl: Aanhin mo yung hagdan?
Boy: Aakyat sana ako sayo ng ligaw
Girl: Di na kelangan! Yumuko ka nlang.
Boy: Huh?! Bakit?
Girl: Pakipulot ung puso ko, nahulog na kasi sayo!

* Hangga't andito ako sa mundo,
Huwag mong isipin na THE BEST na ang syota mo!

* Pwede bang MCDO na lang itawag ko sayo?!
Maxado kasing obvious kapag sinabi kong...
"LOVE KO 'TO!!!"

* Girl: Tikman mo tong cake. Masarap. Gawa kasi ng nanay ko.
Boy: Ikaw nalang titikman ko. Gawa ka rin naman ng nanay mo eh!

* Hi... Hmmm... Sabi ng doctor malala na daw yung sakit ko sa puso...
Dalawa na lang daw options ko. Either ICU or
U C Me...

* Boy: May gagawin ka ba bukas?
Girl: Wala naman. Bakit?
Boy: Tara, Pakasal tayo...

* Boy: Miss, musician ka ba?
Girl: Bakit?
Boy: Pinapataas mo kasi nota ko eh...

* Kapag feeling mo may kulang sa buhay mo...
Isipin mong mabuti kung ano...
baka...
AKO na yon...
* If you're nice, you can call me "baby"
If you're sweet, you can call me "honey"
If you're hot, you can call me...
tonight!

* Sabi ng teacher ko kelangan ko raw ulit magaral ng alphabet.
Kasi everytime I recite it...
I always miss "U"...

* Sana naging camera na lang ako,
Para sa tuwing titingin ako sayo,
ngingitian mo ko...

* Kung may nagtanong sayo na:
"kumain ka na ba?"
Ang pinaka nice na sagot dyan ay...
"di pa eh, gusto ko kasi matikman ka muna!"

* Sana naging damit na lang ako...
Para kahit minsan..
Itry mo kung bagay ako sayo...

* My wish is to take off ur clothes kahit 1 beses lang...
i just wanna know how angels hide their wings...

* Anong oras na?
...Para masulat ko sa diary ko kung anong oras ako na in-love sayo..."

* If you're given a chance to love somebody...
Why don't you try me?!?!

* Boy: Miss, pwede ba tayong maglaro? kahit ano laro ok lang, wag lng taguan.
Girl: Bakit ayaw mo ng taguan?
Boy: Because a girl like you is impossible to find...

* Boy: Excuse me, May I see the tag of your shirt?!
Girl: Why?
Boy: I just wanna see if you were "Made For Me"

* Miss, naturukan ka ba ng anesthesia?
Bakit di mo maramdamang mahal kita?

* Nurse, CPR mo nga ako, coz you're taking my breath away.

* Paki-auscultate nga yung apical part ng thorax ko...
And hear how my heart beats for you...

* Miss, let me take your temperature...
Coz I think you're hot!

* I don't speak french...
But I know how to kiss that way...

* Kung ako'y pamasahe, ikaw naman ay gasolina...
Alam mo kung bakit?
Ikaw kasi ang dahilan kung bakit ako nagmamahal...

* Super steady ka naman dyan...
Galawin kaya kita...

* Boy: Buti na lang walang MMDA dito noh...
Girl : Bakit? Ano nangyari?
Boy: Nagkabanggaan puso natin eh...

* Buti pa ang cholesterol...
may lugar dyan sa puso mo...

* Pag ako yumaman, magtatayo ako ng grocery store at mura lng bilihin...
...Dahil sayo lng ako magmamahal...

* Aabsent na ako sa lahat ng klase ko...
Makapasok lang ako sa PUSO mo...

* Question lang...
Can you recommend a good bank where i can make a deposit?
Kasi...
Im planning to save all my love for you...

* Boy: Idedelete na kita sa friendster ha...
Girl: Bakit?
Boy: Ayoko kasi ng friends lng eh...

* Boy: Sana pinto ka na lang?
Girl: Hay naku! Bakit nanaman?
Boy: Para pwede kitang pasukan at labasan...

* Grabe na talaga mga banat ngayon noh?
Sa sobrang dami wala na akong maisip...
kundi IKAW...

******************

* Boy: Miss, para kang sembreak...
Girl: Hay naku, Banat nnman... Aber bakit?
Boy: Amboring mo eh...!!!

* Boy: Alam mo para kang bisyo...
Girl: Hihi... Dahil ba hindi mo ko maiwasan?

Boy: Hindi. Sinisira mo kasi buhay ko!!!

* Girl: Alam mo para kang shades...
Boy: .. Bakit naman? Kasi bagay ako sayo?
Girl: Hindi! Kasi nagdidilim ang paningin ko pag nakikita kita!!!

* Kapag may nagsabi sayo na di ka magaling manamit at magbihis...
Sumagot ka:
"Alam ko! Pero magaling ako maghubad!!!

* Kunwary dictionary ako...
Sigurado kahit saang page mo tingnan...
Hindi mo ako mahahanap...
Wala naman kasi akong meaning sayo!

* Ang pagmamahal ko sa kanya ay parang paborito kong pagkain...
UBOS NA!!!

* Girl: May bagong unlimited ah?
Boy: Oh? Nu naman unli un?
Girl: Ikaw, unlimited ka sa puso ko!
Boy: Wow ha! talaga?
Girl: OO! BUKAS EXPIRED KNA!!!

* Banat ng bitter na ex:
"So what kung may chemistry kayo?
Bukod sa may history tayo...
I know your anatomy..."

korning banat

2011-09-21T05:32:00.000-07:00

1. Kumain ka ba ng asukal? Ang tamis kasi ng ngiti mo.

2. I'm a bee, can you be my honey?

3. May lahi ka bang keyboard? Type kasi kita.

4. Papupulis kita! Ninakaw mo kasi puso ko.

5. Are you a dictionary? Coz you add meaning to my life.

6. I lost my number. Can I have yours?

7. I forgot your name. Can I call you mine?

8. Ice ka ba? Crush kita, okay lang?

9. Sweswertihin ka sa pagibig ngayong taon, pag naging akin ka.

10. Meralco ka ba? Pag ngumiti ka kasi may spark.

11. Bangin ka ba? Nahulog kasi ako sa'yo.

12. May butas ba yang puso mo? Natrap kasi ako, can't find my way out.

13. Pustiso ka ba? Kasi I can't smile without you.

14. Nabibingi ka na ba? Coz my heart has been screaming out your name for quite some now.

15. Tapos na ba ung exam mo? Para ako naman sagutin mo.

16. Ok lang na ako ang magbayad ng tuition fee mo? Basta pag-aralan mo lang akong mahalin.

17. Alam mo ba na scientist ako? At ikaw yung LAB ko.

18. May lisensya ka ba? Coz you're driving me crazy.

19. May kilala ka bang gumagawa ng relo? May sira ata relo ko. Pag ikaw kasi kasama ko, humihinto ang oras ko.

20. Aanhin pa ang gravity, kung lagi lang akong mahuhulog sa iyo?

21. Mahilig ka ba magluto na pancit canton? Kasi pag kasama kita, feeling ko, "LUCKY ME."

22. Am i a bad shooter? Coz i keep on missing you.

23. Kung posporo ka at posporo din ako, eh di MATCH tayo.

24. Favorite subject mo ba geometry? Kasi kahit anong angle, ang cute mo.

25. Kapag ako may tindahan, lahat ng tao bebentahan ko ng mura, sayo lang hindi, dahil sayo lang ako magmamahal.

26. Alarm clock ka ba? Ginising mo kasi ang natutulog kong puso eh.

27. Pwede ka bang makatabi pag may exam? Coz i feel perfect beside you.

28. May mapa ka ba diyan? Para alam ko ang daan papunta sa puso mo.

29. Excuse me! Miss alam mo ba yung kasabihan ng mga Pilipino?
"Aanhin pa ang damo, kung sayo pa lang may tama na ko."

30. Di ka ba nahihirapan sa sitwasyon natin? Hanggang friends na lang ba tayo?

31. Kung pumanaw man ang Selyang naging irog ni Balagtas, ngayon nakita ko na ang isang (name of girl), na magbibigay sa akin
ng kasiyahan o kabiguaang aking inaasam asam, (name of girl) wag mo sanang palubugin
ang araw sa tanghaling tapat, tumingin ka sa aking mata at sabihin mong hindi mo ako mahal, at habang buhay kitang lulubayan.

32. Miss, kahoy ka ba? Sarap mo kasing sibakin.

33. Pagod ka na noh? Maghapon ka na kasing tumatakbo sa isip ko.

34. Hindi tayo tao, hindi rin tayo hayop. Bagay tayo! Bagay!!!

35. Miss, your legs are like mayonnaise. They are best when spread out!

36. Minamalat na nanman puso ko. Paano kasi, laging sumisigaw ng pangalan mo!

37. Uy papicture tayo! Para ma-develop tayo!!!

38. Can I take your picture? Coz i want to show Santa exactly what I want for Christmas!

38. Centrum ka ba? Kasi you make my life complete!

39. Pwede ba kitang maging sidecar? Kasi single kasi ako!

40. Umutot ka ba? Kasi you blew me away!

41. Sana T na lang ako, para I'm always next to U.

42. Steady ka ba? Gusto kasi kitang galawin eh.

43. Great person, ikaw yan. Great friend, ikaw rin yan. Great looks, sa'yo talaga yan. Great heart, sa'yo pa rin yan. Great
taste, sobra ka na. KAPE na yan.

44. Kahapon nasaktan ako nung makita ko siya, di na niya kasi ako kilala pero nung tinitigan ko siyang mabuti, na-realize ko di ko din pala sya kilala. Kaya naman pala.

45. Aanhin pa ang alak kung sa akin pa lang, tinatamaan na sila.

46. Siguro magaling kang mag-CPR kasi napatibok mo ulit ang puso ko!

47. Alarm clock ka ba? Kasi ginising mo ang natutulog kong damdamin!

48. Camera ka ba? Kasi you make me smile.

49. Noong minahal kita, talo mo pa ang traffic sa EDSA. I CANT MOVE ON!

50. You're like dandruff. I cant get you out of my head.

51. Eraser ka ba? Kasi binura mo ang masasamang ala-ala ko.

52. Pwede ba kitang maging driver? Para ikaw na magpatakbo ng buhay ko.

52. BOY: Is this seat taken? GIRL: NO, and so am I.

53. Is your dad a terrorist? Coz you're the BOMB baby!

54. Excuse me, alam mo ba kung anong oras na? Tumigil kasi ang mundo nang makita kita.

55. Nasaan ka kagabi? Wala ka kasi sa panaginip ko.

56. Nasa impyerno na ba ako? Coz you're so HOT!!!!

57. Gusto ko nang mamatay, para makasama na ang anghel na tulad mo!

58. (Name of girl), sa dinadami ng babaeng dumaan sa buhay ko, ni isa wala pa akong minahal. Kung sakali ngayon pa lang,
isang bagay lang ang ikinakatakot ko. Ang malamang mahal mo na ako pero may kapiling na akong iba.

59. Hindi ka ba napapagod, kasi kanina ka pa takbo ng takbo sa utak ko.

60. Napaos na naman ako sa kakasigaw ng pangalan mo.

61. Uy, question? Can you recommend a good banker where I can make a deposit? Coz I'm planning to save all my love for you.

62. May free ka ba? Samahan mo naman ako sa psychiatrist. Magdala daw kasi ako ng kinababaliwan ko.

63. Oi bukas sisingilin na kita ng renta ha, kasi matagal ka ng nakatira sa puso ko.

64. Excuse me. Kung dederetchohin ko ba ang daan na ito, dederetcho baito sa puso mo?

65. Mabilis ka siguro sa mga puzzles noh? Kasi kakasimula pa lang ngaraw ko binubuo mo na.

66. Father? yes, I can be a father...Father of your future baby.

67. Exam ka ba? Kasi gustong gusto na kitang itake home eh.

68. Uy sabi ng doctor malala na daw ang sakit ko sa puso. Dalawana lang daw ang option: either ICU or you see me.

69. Ibibili kita ng salbabida, kasi malulunod ka sa pagmamahal ko.

70. Naniniwala ka ba sa love at first sight, o gusto mong dumaan ulit ako?

71. Kung bola ka at ako ang player, mashoo-shoot ba kita? Hindi, kasi lagi kitang mamimiss.

72. Wag kang maooffend ha, pero sa tingin ko, magnanakaw ang mga magulang mo. Ninakaw lahat ng bituin sa langit at inilagay
sa mga mata mo.

73. Ms., nurse/cardiologist ka ba? Pwede mo po bang alagaan ang puso ko?

74. Nakakatakot di ba ang multo? Pero mas nakakatakot kapag nawala ka sa buhay ko.

pangsyotang banat

2011-09-16T04:38:00.003-07:00

to banat saken ni GF last week

(nakain kami sa rob gale sa foodcourt)

me: honey tignan mo yung nasa kabilang table nag kiss sila kaka inggit
GF : wag mo intindihin yan, wala yan. GF mo ako, i can do more than that.

* Boy: pag tayo na, magkasama nating haharapin ang mga problema..
Girl: wala naman akong problema eh..
Boy:kasi nga hindi pa tayo... wag kang excited,, feeling?... hehehe

*boy: para kang pato
girl: bakit naman?
boy: kasi ako yung bebe mo

*GIRL: Maghiwalay nalang tayo!!
BOY: OK lang babalikan ko nlng yung EX ko..
GIRL: ABA!! ANG KAPAL MO TALAGA!! WERE OFFICIALLY BREAK!!!
KINABUKASAN...
BOY: I still love you..
GIRL: Dba break na tayo?! Babalikan mo pa nga EX mo dba?!
BOY: Eto na nga.. Binabalikan na ulit kita..

*nakakainis ka! napaka isip bata mo.
masyado kang childish! gusto mo gawin kitang . . .

. . . Baby ko?

*[Boy] Malapit na ang pasko, ano ang gusto mo?
[Girl] PSP mo.
[Boy] PSP ko?
[Girl] Oo... PSP mo ... Pasko Sa Piling mo

*a girl was teasing her best friend..
"ilang babae nba minahal mo huh?"
the guy smiled and replied..
"uhm? bkt ilan kba huh?"

*GF: break na tayo.
BF: Sige, Gutom na din ako eh.

*my wife asked me once..

wife: dad ask ko lang, bakit ako?
me: anung bakit ikaw?
wife: i mean, bakit ako pinili mo eh ang daming iba dyan...
me: what do you mean?
wife: anu ba talaga nakita mo saken?
me: simple lang, lahat na sa iyo na..
wife: ganun? panung lahat?
me: lahat ng gusto ko at lahat ng ayaw ko.. san ka pa? bisyo na toh!!!

*Hindi ako childish, gusto ko lang maging baby mo...

* girL: bakit ba kapag ngde-date tayo ang porma porma mo? ako ang simpLe ko Lng. nagpapacute ka ba sa iba?

boy: hindi ako nagpapacute..

..gusto ko Lng crush mo pa rin ako kahit tayo na.ü

BOY: pag mag asawa na tayo di kana maglalaba.

GIRL: weh? talaga? bakit naman?

BOY: kasi araw araw na tayong nakahubad.

pangkamamoteng banat

2011-09-16T04:36:00.000-07:00

gusto mo ng peanuts? brain food yan"

i see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

"Being stupid is not an excuse, you know."
"has your mother ever apologized to the world for bringing you forth or what?"

ME: alam mo ba yung t@nga?

Friend: oo..bakit?

ME: mas t@nga ka pa dun!

Bakit kasi nung nagpaulan ang Diyos ng katalinuhan, nagpayong ka?

BAKIT NAMAN KASI NUNG NAGPAULAN ANG DIYOS NG KATANGAHAN....SINALO MO LAHAT...NAKANGANGA KA PA!!!

I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

said this when me and my xbf were having a fight over something...i forgot na the reason! basta gan'to sabi ko:

me: "....kala ko ba pag doctor matalino? e sa lahat yata ng doctor na kilala ko ikaw yung may utak na makikita lang sa talampakan."

exbf: "...i'm using my head!"

me: "...which one? the head u have below your navel? that's all you have jerk!

WHAT THE F#CK IS WRONG WITH YOU? SINUBUKAN KA BA I-ABORT NG NANAY MO? BAKIT NAGKAGANYAN TAKBO NG UTAK MO?



OH, EASY KA LANG. BAKA HINDI MAKAYANAN NG UTAK MO

Pangontra:

Q: WHERE WERE YOU WHEN GAVE BRAINS?!?!?!

A: DIDN'T YOU REMEMBER?! I WAS WITH YOU! B*T*H!!!

You graduated with that kind of degree so how come you're so fawkin stupid?

parinig:
"bat ba ang daming bobo sa mundo?"

"Were you under an umbrella when God showered intelligence?"

"kakapiraso na yang nasa bao mo,di mo pa magamit..."

taga-La Salle: "Hay naku...hay naku...alam mo yang tuition fee nyo, kasing laki lang ng allowance namin..."

taga-UST:"Ah, ganun ba? sabagay, yung allowance namin, kasing laki lang naman ng utak nyo..."

eto: sabi ng prof

"anong gatas ang ininom mo?"

"anong brand ng sardinas ang kinain mo?"

sabay dugtong....."at ganyan kakitid ang utak mo!"

"dami na sanang T*NGA kundi mo sinosolo"

pang asar sa mga medyo may pagka-tanga:
"Kapag nagkabentahan ng utak, malaki ang kikitain mo sa utak mo"

"Talaga?"

"oo,kasi hindi mo man lang nagagamit eh,bagong bago pa rin"

"buti pa ang bulalo, may utak"

"kulang sa buwan to nung pinanganak e, 4 months sa incubator, kaya nagkaganyan"

ilang kilobytes ba kaya nyang utak mo at parang ang hirap mong umintinde? isa?

"Ayusin mo naman... Di ko naman kawalan kung natural na ang katangahan mo..."

Comprehension or hearing problem? Which is it?

naalala ko yung teacher ko, kasi parang walang sumasagot sa mga tanong , kaya tinanong niya kami,

"Ano ba to? Battle of the brainless?!"

kc i work sa call center. tech support kme...inaawaya ako nung kano, sabe nya stupid daw ako...

me : spell stupid sir.
kano : s-t-u-p-i-d
me: no sir, its capital Y-O-U dont you think?

"kasi dapat minsan, ginagamit ang utak.."

"eto pera, bumili ka ng brain.."

" his brain is as small as his d1ck!



"am i talking too fast? or are you just thinking too slow?"

teacher ng friend ko sa isa niyang classmate

teacher: ang tagal ng nakalaya ng mga Pilipino sa mga Kastila, di ka pa rin nakalalaya sa katangahan mo!!!

Overheard at work:

Boss: "I can fix a lot of things but I can't fix stupid."

sa mga taong walang alam:
WELCOME to earth!!

You are OFFICIALLY IRRELEVANT!!

I’m impressed, I’ve never met such a small mind inside such a big head before!

ang utak ginagamit sa pag-iisip hindi patubuan ng talaba....

has your brain went down the drain or it has gone down to your balls????

heto linya ng prof. ko noon sa classmate kong hindi makasagot dati:

"mag-iodize salt tayo!" tapos kumanta pa siya.

Linya ng boss ko sa dating employee namin:

"ang ganda mo, matangkad, slim.. kaso ang bobo mo eh!"

A supervisor once told a worker who has difficulty in understanding instructions, "Ang ulo, hindi lang yan pinapatong sa leeg, ginagamit din yan sa pagiisip."

pangswabeng banat

2011-09-16T04:35:00.000-07:00

* boy turista! naglalakd nkakita ng girl sby bnat!!
boy: d pala mgaganda tanawin mga tourist spot d2!
girl: huh?bkit nmn!?
boy: ksi aanhn ko pa mga tourist spot, kung para skin ikaw na pinakamagndang tanawin!!

* boy: miss, may kasama ka?
girl: wala
boy: gusto ko sanang makasama ka habang ako'y nabubuhay..

*Binata: I want to be ur angel who'l guide, follow, and love u..
dalaga: = Weh, talaga?
Binata: Oo naman, kaya lang, how can i be an angel kung sa ngiti mo pa lang, nadedemonyo na ko?!

*Boy: Can you keep a secret?
Girl: Oo naman. ano yun?
Boy: I'm secretly falling in love with someone.
Girl: Oh.
boy: ...
Girl: so sino naman?
Boy: ...
Girl: ...
Boy: You are my secret. can i keep you?

*boy: you know what, para kang dvd writer
girl: huh? baket?
boy: kasi you keep on rotating and burning me...

* b: gusto ko na gumaling, gusto ko na pumasok sa office.
ako: pagaling ka na kasi, miss ka na ng mga tao sa office
b: buti pa yung mga tao sa office nami-miss ako.. :'(
ako: kelan ka ba di-discharge sa hospital?
b: baka 2 days from now tas pasok na ko kinabukasan
ako: hala, hinde ka man lang ba magpapahinga? baka mabinat ka
b: hinde na kailangan, nasa office yung nagbibigay lakas sakin, ayan nga o, yung katext ko ngayon!

*Boy: asan ka now?
Girl: ofis, ikaw?
Boy: andito lang, sa puso mo
Girl: kanina lang nasa isip kita, ngayon nasa puso na..
Boy: oo, maya tignan mo kung asan na ko.. hahah

*eto nagamit ko na to, patok sa taglamig! hehehe!

Girl: ang lamig-lamig ngayon no? bakit wala kang jacket?
Ako: malamig ba? di ko ramdam ang lamig ngayon e kaya di ko kelangan ng jacket
Girl: pambihira ka, ang weird mo naman...
Ako: ganun talaga, kapag kasama kita di ako nilalamig, you're so hot kasi e! hehehe

*manliligaw may dalang bulaklak.

boy: para s'yo
girl: bakit sampaguita, hindi naman ako santo?!
boy: hindi nga, pero sinasamba kita.

*BOY: wow,tumatangkad ka a!
GIRL: Di naman, bakit mo nasabi?
BOY: Kasi dati hangang balikat lang kita pero ngayon nasa isip na kita!(naks!)

*Subukan mo muna akong mahalin bago mo ako biguin at kung di ka liligaya sa aking piling saka mo ako limutin...

* ako: uhm miss excuse me, kilala mo ba si KC?
chick: hindi eh
ako: sure ka?
chick: (umiling) hindi ko kilala
ako: by the way im KC, (sabay abot ng shake hands)chick: (tumatawa)*shake hands*

* Please help the homeless. Take me home with you...

* Miss... Puede bang malaman ang pangalan mo..? Titignan ko lang kung bagay sa apilyido ko.

* magiging ma-swerte ang love life mo......kung ako ang magiging boyfriend mo.

*miss, maganda ka, pogi ako bagay tayo!

*B: Miss anong height mo?
G: ha? 5'4
B: Sakto, Kasya ka pa sa puso ko.

* G; bakit ka nakatingin sa nameplate ko?
B: hinihintay ko kasing malagay dyan apelyido ko..

*BOY: BOBO ba ako?
GIRL: bakit mo naman nasabi yan?
BOY: ikaw lang kase ang laman ng isip ko eh...

* boy: feeling mu after 10 years friends pa din tayo?
girl: i don't know.. bakit naman?
boy: feeling ko after 10 years, pareho na tayo ng apilido..

* girl : Mr. anong oras na?
boy : 091XXXXXXX
girl: sorry, i'm asking what time
boy : 091XXXXXXX, heto yung number ko, call me i will give you all of my time (sabay kindat)

* boy: miss single kapa?
girl: bakt
Boy: pwede bang maging sidecar mo ako..

*Boy: Miss telepono ka ba?
Girl: huh? bakit?

Boy: Para naman sagutin mo ako.. :)

*boy: sana baso na lang ako...
girl: bakit naman?
boy: para may pag-asang sumayad ang labi ko sa labi mo... :-)

*boy: there's only one thing i want to change about you..
girl: what's that?
boy: ur surname..

* guy: miss pa borrow ballpen
gurl: eto oh (sabay bigay ng ballpen)
guy: ayaw sumulat eh
gurl: nagamit ko pa kanina yan
guy: sige nga sulat mo number mo

* DALAGA: psst… meron kang kamukha.
BINATA: Sino?
DALAGA: ung pang apat kong boyfriend
BINATA: bkt? ilan nba bf mo?
DALAGA: tatlo p lang..

*di ka ba nahihirapan sa sitwasyon natin?...hanggang friends na lang ba tayo?..."

*Pinapatanong ng mama ko kung maka abs-cbn ka daw ba...

gusto ka kasi naming maging kapamilya"

*me: pwede ba manligaw?
gf: my bf na ko eh!
me: e ano naman kung ASAWA nga nasusulot.... SYOTA pa kaya?

banat ni bob ong

2011-09-16T04:30:00.001-07:00

Dear Mr. Bob Ong,

Matagal ko na pong nililigawan itong chik na nakilala ko recently sa isang party. Nasisiraan na ako ng bait. Pag nakilala mo siya, tiyak matutunaw ang utak mo sa kakaisip sa kanya.

Hingi lang po ako ng advice. Paano ko po siya mapapaibig? Bibigyan ko ba siya ng tula ? Haharanahin ko ba siya? Roses? Kalachuchi? Chocnut at sampaguita?

In lab na po ako. Ano po ang gagawin ko? Is she the one?

Lubos na gumagalang,
-MATT -

- ANG REPLY -

Dear MATT,

Hindi ka talaga sasagutin niyang nililigawan mo. Napaka-old school kasi ng mga tactics mo. Wala nang gumagawa ng ganyan. Sa panahon ngayon, lahat ng bagay, nagtaas na. Nagtaas na ang gasolina, nagtaas na ang presyo ng bigas at mga bilihin, nagtaas na ang pamasahe, at lalong nagtaas na rin ng standards ang mga babae. Hindi na uubra yang siopao at suman mo. Lalo na yung huli mong binigay, hopia at santan. Ano ba pare? Ano’ng era ka ba pinanganak?

Pero don’t worry. It’s not too late. May pag-asa ka pa. Hindi pa naman siya kinakasal at di pa niya sinasagot yung crush niya na basketball player. Kahit lamang siya ng sampung paligo sa’yo, daanin mo sa utak at creativity. Dahil aminin na natin, iyon na LANG talaga ang pag-asa mo. Heto, bibigyan kita ng mga simple, tried and tested na mga regalo para di siya mapurga sa hopia at siomai. Sundin mo ‘to, tiyak na lalaglag ang bagang niya sa’yo. Mga medyo more than your usual regalong panligaw:

1. Bili ka ng century tuna. Ilagay mo sa isang napakalaking box—yung sinlaki ng TV o kaya box ng desktop PC mo. Tapos balutan mo ng magarang pambalot. Kuntsabahin mo na yung teacher niya sa Calculus. Sa gitna ng klase, bigla kang kumatok sa classroom. Pero dapat, incognito ka. Magsuot ka ng LBC jacket, magshades, at magsuot ng surgical mask. Pagpasok mo sa classroom, iabot mo yung box sa teacher, at papirmahin mo ng acknowledgement receipt. Tapos pabuksan mo in front of everyone. Tignan mong mabuti ang reaction sa mukha niya.

Later during the day, pag tinanong niya kung bakit Century Tuna ang binigay mo, iikot mo yung lata at ituro mo yung sign na “Omega 8.” Pag tinanong niya kung ano yung Omega 8, sabihin mo: “because you’re good for my heart.”

2. Mangolekta ka ng isang dosenang hanger na libre mong nakukuha tuwing nagpapa-dry clean ka. Tapos, sa bawat hanger, isulat mo: “I miss hanging out with you.”

3. Instead of roses, kuha ka ng tissue paper sa banyo ng school mo. Gawin mong tissue paper roses. Gawa ka ng isang dosena. Pag-abot mo, sabihin mo, “Ganito kalinis ang pag-ibig ko sa’yo.”

4. Bili ka ng tetra pack ng mantikang Minola. Tapos bilugan mo yung “with Omega 8.” Hindi na siya magtatanong kung bakit.

5. Bigyan mo ng ice cream cone. Dapat cone lang at walang ice cream. Pag hinanap niya yung ice cream, sabihin mo, “natunaw na kakatitig sa’yo.”

6. Bili ka ng sandosenang box ng crayola. Kolektahin mo lahat ng black. Lagay mo sa isang box ng crayola. Sa likod, isulat mo: “Walang kulay ang buhay kung wala ka.”

7. Bigyan mo siya ng mumurahing bumbilya. Alam mo na siguro by this time kung ano ang isasagot pag tinanong niya kung bakit.

8. Itext mo siya ng: “Hindi tayo tao, hindi tayo hayop, hindi tayo halaman. Bagay tayo. Bagay!”

9. Bigyan mo siya ng calling card ng MMDA. Sa likod, isulat mo “para pag nagkabanggaan ang puso natin.”

10. Padalhan mo ng Happy Meal pero huwag mong ibibigay yung libreng laruan. Paghinanap niya, sabihin mo: “Ako yung freebie, at ikaw yung meal na nagpapahappy sa’kin.”

11. Sunugin ang kanyang bahay at padalhan ng hallmark card: "aanhin mo pa ang bahay mo, kung matagal ka nang nakatira sa puso ko"

12. Pagkatapos sunugin ang kanyang bahay, padalhan siya ng isang box ng posporo, Guitar brand. unahan ang kanyang galit at sabihin, "ayan ang posporo na ginamit ko sa pagsunog ng iyong bahay, match na tayo"

13. Sa kalagitnaan ng isang malupit na bagyo, pasalubungan sya ng "salbabida", wag payong, o mainit na mami. Pag nagtanong bkt? ang isagot mo ay " ayaw kong malunod ka sa pag mamahal ko."

14. Pag pumayag na siyang makipagdate, dalhin mo siya sa canteen at huwag bibitawan ang kamay. Pag tinanong niya kung bakit, ituro mo yun sign na “don’t leave your valuables unattended”

Handang Tumulong Lagi

Bob Ong